YuGiOh! Does Texas Hold 'Em!
by Black Dragon of the Bayou
Summary: NEW AND IMPROVED, NOW WITH STRIP POKER! Just kidding. Anyway,Yugi invites his friends over for a night of poker fun. Chaos ensues. Rated for language, suggestive themes, and a superhyper Yami. OOCness and slight character bashing.
1. Default Chapter

**A/N: **I've gone off the deep Yu-Gi-Oh and poker. I just wonder if I'm the first person who wondered what this would be like. Oh well…here it goes..

**Warning: Mild language and OOC-ness ahead. Be advised. **

**Disclaimer: I don't yu-gi-oh or the rules of Texas Hold'em, which you could look up online if you want to know what exactly is going on.**

_**Yu-Gi-Oh! Does Texas Hold'em! **_

**_Chapter One_**

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Yugi set up the poker table in his grandfather's kitchen. The chips and the card decks they would be using were ready and waiting…all he needed were some players.

_Ding-Dong!_

One by one, Yugi's friends arrived. Joey, Tea, Mai, Ryou, Tristian, Duke and Serenity all came in at one time.

"Hey Yug, you ready to lose your lunch money?" Joey asked as he sat down at the table.

"Do you run your mouth when you play poker as much as you do when you play Duel Monsters?" Tristan asked, laughing at his friend's confidence.

"He does have a point, your mouth has a habit of writing a check your butt can't cash!" Tea added, her hands on her hips.

"First of all pencil-head, I don't see you winnin Duel Monsters tournaments! What exactly do you do anyways? And YOU...Miss Friendship...you have the biggest mouth of anybody sittin at dis table!" Joey looked as if his face had turned into a tomato, steam blowing out of his ears, causinghis sisterto chuckle a little.

"Calm down, Joey...they were just kidding around. You are so serious sometimes!"

"Serenity's right...lets play already!" Yugi said as he pulled out a deck of poker cards.

**__**

**_YU-GI-OH!_**

**__**

The gang looked on slightly confused as Yami took Yugi's place at the table.

"Huh? Where's my Duel Monsters deck? What are these strange looking cards? WHERE IS KAIBA! I MUST FACE HIM, THE FATE OF THE UNIVERSE DEPENDS ON IT!" Yami looked around, frantically searching for his deck, while everyone else either laughed histerically or pondered if Yami should be committed.

"A little too much caffine today, Yami?" Ryou asked, his face flushed with amusement.

"Dude, you should calm down. This is a friendly game of poker, not some duel to save the world from some power hungry, egotistcal, Donald-Trump-wannabe like Seto Kaiba." Duke said as he began to deal the cards out.

"I heard that, Dice Boy." The gang turned to see Seto Kaiba standing in front of them, his normal trenchcoat absent.

"KAIBA? HOW DID YOU GET INTO YUGI'S HOME!" Yami stood up, questioning Kaiba as if he had stole something.

"The door was open, any other dumbass questions?" Kaiba put on THE smirk. You know, the one that has hundreds of fangirls drooling over him, the one that every hotshot duelist wants to slap off.

"Yeah...when are you gonna leave? We're about ta play some poker here...we don't need losers like you ruining the atmosphere, see?"

"Joey! Let Kaiba play if he wants to, I'm sure I could talk him into being our friend..."

Everyone covered their ears in fright. "NOOOOOOOO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!"

"Tea's right though, maybe we should give him a chance...besides, I'm sure Kaiba has some pretty deep pockets." Mai put in as she made room for Seto to sit down.

Kaiba grunted, and sat down, much to Joey's dismay.

"Let's start the betting..."

**Ok...that was weird. Should I keep this going? Did I slam someone unfairly? Should I stop before anyone gets hurt? Review and let me know. **

**BigLos...out**


	2. The Game Begins

**A/N: **Welcome back loyal readers! Lots to get done here, so I'll immediately go to the mailbox:

**The Broken Bow: **Was it one of those PartyPoker popups? I hate those damn things! Anyway, glad you liked it, and thanks for reading.

**Kikoken: **Thanks for reading. Kaiba winning it all? Not a stretch…Just a couple of quick items, First, I enjoy a lot of your work, and I'm extremely happy that you would take some time out to read one of my fics. Second, guessing by your name you like street fighter to some extent, do you have any advice on writing a SF fic? My brain's gone stagnant on the one I was working on. Sorry I took so long to update!

**Kaibatheman and Kilala63: **You perverts! Strip poker? What sort of shameless, crappy fanfiction author would resort to such degrading and offensive means of entertainment? Well, me of course! Thanks for the reviews.

Well…that's the mailbox. Enjoy the chapter!

**Chapter Two: The Game Begins**

Despite Joey's objections, Kaiba took his seat at the poker table and the game began. Ryou dealt everyone two cards **(1) **to begin their hand. Yami, who appeared to be confused by the cards now in his possesion slammed them down onto the table.

"I'll PLAY THESE TWO CARDS FACE DOWN!"

"O.K...somebody's had too much sugar." Tea put in, shaking her head.

"Yami...this ain't Duel Monsters...you don't have trap or magic cards." Joey stated, trying to help out his longtime buddy.

"Oh...then I'll play them face up!" Yami flipped up his cards and everyone laughed at his mistake.

"You might want to flip those back over, hun." Mai said, muffling a giggle.

_Yami...what are you doing? You showed everyone what cards you have! Fold, Dammit! It's only the five of Spades and the three of Diamonds...it will be pretty tough to win with those..._

Yami heeded the wishes of his hikari and folded his hand. Mai officialy started the betting.

"Let's start the betting...I'll put in 50 chips."

"I'm out..." Tristan pushed his cards away without a second thought.

"Me too.." Duke relinquished his cards as well.

Kaiba took a quick peek at his cards and smirked. "50...and 50 more."

"So dat makes 100 chips right?" Joey asked as he looked over his own cards.

"Good arithmetic, mutt. Now are you going to play or not?"

Joey grumbled a curse under his breath, and put in the 100 chips.

With the action now to Tea, she sat there and looked over her cards.

_A pair of fours...not bad..._

"I'll play."

After seeing Tea put in her chips, Serenity threw her cards away almost instantly.

"Too rich for me."

The group now turned to Ryou. "I'll call the bets..." The albino quietly placed his chips into the pile, as did Mai to cover Kaiba's raise.

Ryou, who was acting as dealer, put down three of the five community cards...

King of Spades, Two of Clubs, Nine of Hearts...

Joey, Ryou and Serenity instantly folded, soon followed by a disappointed Tea.

That left only Mai and Kaiba playing in the hand.

_Hmmm...two pairs...not a bad hand, but not a great one...maybe I should toy with him a bit..._

"I'll put in 25 more." Mai pushed in her chips, giving Kaiba an impressive view of her cleavage in the process

"Well, Kaiba...still in?" Mai cooed sweetly as she waited for her opponent's reply.

"Alright...I'll call."

Ryou fipped over the next card, which was the Two of Hearts.

_Alright! Full House...now I should really lay it on thick for Kaiba._

Mai declared that she would hold her bet as it was, and turned to face Kaiba as he made his decision.

_What is this fool trying to accomplish? Does she not know that I'm not some hormone-driven freak like that pup Wheeler? I'm THE GREAT SETO KAIBA! I have a fan club with over...was that her LEG I just felt? Uh-oh...suddenly my pants seem a little tight..._

"What's the matter, Kaiba-boy? Having trouble thinking?" Mai teased sweetly as she continue to rub her leg slowly up Kaiba's. The only person at the table who knew exactly what was going on was Ryou, who was trying to prevent himself from exploding with laughter.

"I'll...stay as well..."

"YOU CAN DO IT MAI! REMEMBER THE HEART OF THE CARDS!"

Everyone looked over at Yami again.

"That's it pal! No more sweets for you!" Tristan said as he opened another can of soda.

Ryou flipped over the last card, which was a Queen of Clubs...entirely irrelevant considering Kaiba had no shot of winning the hand.

Mai raised again, and Kaiba smelled trouble almost instantly. He tossed his cards away, signifying he folded the hand.

"Thanks, Kaiba." Mai said as she gathered the chips from the center of the table.

"What, THE Seto Kaiba...folding? What is this world commin to?" Joey rambled on sarcastically as Ryou dealt out another hand.

"Wheeler...where's your muzzle?"

Joey let out a pretty long stream of profanities, and Serenity shook her head sadly at her older brother.

"This is going to be a long night..."

**Mai has the early lead, but this game is just beginning! Will Kaiba regain his lost chips and a little of his pride? Will Joey ever stop trying to pick a fight with Kaiba? Will Yami ever grasp the game of Poker? These and other pressing questions in our society will be answered next time!**

**Thanks for putting up with my dribble...**

**BDB...out**


	3. Rare Candy

**A/N: **Greetings, loyal readers! I'm in the process of a mass update, so a quick peek at the mailbox then some poker action:

**The Broken Bow: **Thanks for the review, but when you start speaking like Yoda, it's indeed time for YOU to lay off the sugar a bit! (j/k) Glad you enjoyed it.

**Kikoken: **You're welcome for the praise, and thanks for reading. Glad you like it.

**LadyPhoenix99: **Thanks. I kinda cracked up myself when I was writing that whole Mai/Kaiba interaction. I don't know, I guess I have a taste in humor a little on the crude and juvenile side, but what the heck?

**Elements: **Thanks for the read…and I'll see if I can give the good people who read this chapter a chip count or something, so they know who has what amount of chips left. Look for that in the next chapter.

**Sakina the Fallen Angel: **Thanks for your praise and the compliments about my poker skills. I'm average at best at the game, and I rarely play for money. But, at least in my opinion, Poker isn't really a game of skill but a game of mental toughness and luck.The strongest player mentally usually wins, regardless of the cards given him/her. Oh, and I'm glad you like the little Yami quips...that will be a staple of this fic I guarantee!

With that out of the way...I guess I can get back to the fic! Enjoy!

**_Chapter Three: Rare Candy_**

As Ryou dealt out each player a new hand, Mai counted up her chips happily.

"Wow! That's about 500 chips I won in that hand alone! Thanks for being such a dear, Kaiba!" Mai gave Kaiba a quick wink, then looked at her new cards.

Kaiba, not amused by her antics, snarled at her before he looked at his next hand.

_Hmmm...two kings. This should be fun. _

Yami could barely contain his excitement as he uncovered his hand.

_TWO ACES! BEHOLD, LITTLE YUGI! KAIBA WILL FALL BEFORE THE MIGHT OF OUR POWERFUL ACES! _

In his soul room, Yugi rolled his eyes and tried to fall asleep, hoping that Yami stayed away from the stash of cookies he had just baked.

Meanwhile, in Ryou's mind, his Yami was becomming restless as well.

_Let me take over, you fool! You'll lose all the money I stole..uh...I mean earned while I had possestion of your sorry carcass. _

_What are you talking about...and haven't I told you about stealing...it.._

_Yeah, Yeah, it's wrong! Whatever. If you lose any more money, I'm taking over dammit! _

Back at the table, Serenity looked around, a little unsure of what to do with her hand...

Everyone around the table decided to stay in the hand, and Ryou proceeded with the community cards.

**Ace of Spades, Queen of Hearts, King of Diamonds.**

Tea scratched her brow in thought. _Three face cards...that's interesting. _"I'll stay."

Kaiba glared in her direction, attempting to read her actions. _I wonder if Miss Friendship over there is as silly as she looks. _"I'll raise fifty."

Everyone sitting at the table except Yami, Serenity and Kaiba folded their hands after the raise.

Yami and Serenity answered Kaiba's challenge and Ryou laid down the next card.

**Queen of Diamonds. **

_Full house! Kaiba will tremble when my hand is revealed!_

_Hmmm...full house...that spike-haired fool will soon get what's coming to him._

_Wow...I guess this is pretty good. I'll wait and see what the boys do. _

The final card was thrown down, pretty much irrelevant...

**Two of Clubs.**

The betting then began againbetween the three remaining players in the hand.

"You're finished, Yami! Full house!" Kaiba exposed his two face down cards, which, combined with the availiable cards on the table had a hand with Three kings and Two queens, a "full house".

Yami laughed it off, and revealed his hand as well. "BEHOLD KAIBA...THE HEART OF THE CARDS WILL..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, heart of the cards this, heart of the cards that, just show us your damn hand you freak!" Kaiba spat out, eager to get the hand over with.

"ACES OVER QUEENS! BEHOLD MY FULL HOUSE ATTACK!"

"Yug...poker cards don't have attacks." Joey put in, drinking some of his soda.

"Oh...and Kaiba doesn't have life points?"

Tea shook her head. "No, Yami. He has no life points. Um..Serenity..what do you have?"

Serenity looked away from the table, as if in deep thought. "Hmm...I think I have...FOUR OF A KIND!" Serenity slammed her Queens on the table, and greedily grabbed the pot. "Read it and weep, fools!"

She noticed that everyone was staring at her as if she was possessed by a demon of some kind, and proceeded to put on her sweetest, cutest, most innocent face.

"What is everyone staring at?"

It was Joey's turn to shake his head at his little sister's actions. _Everyone thinks I'm da crazy one. _

Ryou proceeded to deal another hand, and everyone gathered their cards up again. The betting went around the table, and seemed pretty normal, until Ryou placed his bet.

"I'm all in."

Needless to say, the table let out a collective "Whatinthehellishethinking!". But something was different about Ryou...it was as if something darker than usual had taken over...

**Ryou has given his yami control! How will the tomb raider fare in his risky wager? Will Yami EVER understand that Duel Monsters and Poker are two entirely different games? And can Seto Kaiba recover from yet another embarassing hand? These and other pressing matters of our time will be answered next time. See ya!**

**BDB...out. **

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	4. Bakura's Gamble

**A/N: **Hello, hello, my loyal readers! Thanks for putting up with more of my mindless babbling, and here's a quick mailbag session:

**Ice Fairy Princess: **Point well taken…I should put my pairings together, shouldn't I? Glad you liked it, and thanks for reading!

**DreamCherry66: **Thanks for reading; glad you enjoyed it so far!

**LadyPhoenix99: **Thanks again for the rave review; more out-of-control poker foolishness is to come!

**TheBrokenBow: **Thanks for dropping by, good luck with your finals and such!

**Shy and LeighC:** Thanks for the encouragement, and I'm happy you liked it. I'll gladly continue it.

**I just wanted to take note that this fic was inspired by a conversation between myself and a friend of mine while playing some poker in Baton Rouge last fall. Zee, if you're reading this, thanks for the idea man! One more thing, if you have any interest in seeing romantic parings in this at all, scroll down to the end. I have a message there. **

**_After starting out with 1000 chips apiece (plus an extra 850 thrown into first pot), here's how our players stand..._**

**_Mai...2000_**

**_Serenity...1700_**

**_Tristan, Joey, Ryou...950_**

**_Yami,Tea...800_**

**_Kaiba...700_**

**_Now...on with the chapter! _**

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**Chapter Four: Bakura's Gamble**

"Well? Who's going to play?" Bakura asked as he pushed all of his chips into the pile.

Yami, Kaiba, Tea, Joeyand Tristan pulled out immediately.

"TOMB ROBBER! WHAT'S YOUR DASTARDLY SCHEME THIS TIME?" Yami said as he threw his cards away.

"Quiet, Pharoah! This is between me and the people that actually know what the hell they are doing. Now...Serenity, Mai, what will you do?"

"Don't rush me, you creepy bastard!" Mai pouted as she thought about what her options were.

_Let's think this through...I have a queen and 10 of spades, he went all in without even looking at his cards! I could be going up against rags or riches here. What should I do? _

As Mai was thinking of her next move, Serenity discarded her hand, mumbling some curses as she did so.

_I have some chips to spare. Ahh, what the hell, let's play!_

"Alright, mop head, I'll call." Mai flipped over her cards. When she saw Bakura's, she burst into a giggle fit.

"A three, and a four...you're crazier than I thought!"

Bakura sneered at the blonde, his confidence unwavering. "Be careful, Blondie. Poker is a very dangerous game."

Duke, who had taken over as dealer, put down the three flop cards. Mai probably could have went without seeing them.

**_three of clubs, three of diamonds, four of hearts _**

"A Full House on a flop! NO WAY!" Kaiba roared as he saw the cards that came into play.

"Whoa...dat makes the cards that Mai would get on the turn and riva (A/N: he meant river) pretty much useless." Joey said, obviously stunned by what had just happened.

**(NEW CHIP COUNT: Mai, 1150, Bakura/Ryou, 1900)**

"BAKURA BELIEVED IN THE HEART OF THE CARDS? IMPOSSIBLE!" Yami roared as he glared at the cards on the table.

Tea rolled her eyes, a little frustrated. "Yami...did you find those cookies Yugi baked?"

"Um...yeah...they were so delicious! Chocolate chips are great!" Yami jumped on his chair and did a crazy dance on his chair.

"Err...let's play another hand." Duke suggested as he dealt out another hand to the players.

**_A little short, I know. I'm sorry, just got through updating three other stories today, so I was a little off my game I guess. Check out my profile here on FF because I have an annoucement up about my update schedule. Hopefully, this will give the unlucky souls who read this a set day of the week on which I update (WITH LONGER, FUNNIER CHAPTERS!). Thanks for reading, take care of yourself, and leave a review on your way out, please._**

**_I almost forgot...if there is a couple you would like to see in this crazy game, leave a suggestion in your review. Thanks._**

**_BDB...out_**


	5. Royal Pain

**A/N: **Being pressed for time sucks, doesn't it? Fear not loyal readers, I promised a longer funnier chapter, and darn it that's what you'll get! After I respond to your reviews, of course.

**LadyPhoenix99: **Aurora, eh? I'll check out your fic some time after I'm done with all these updates. I might sneak in a cameo…you never know. Thanks for reading!

**DreamCherry66: **Really? I thought Yami was acting like me…oh well. Loved the line at the end about the heart of the cards, that was great stuff. Thanks for reading.

**Feebeefi: **Crazy in a good way, I guess that's what the aim was. Thanks for reading.

**Shy and LeighC: **Hmm…surprise you two, eh? I'll see what I can do. Thanks for reading (hope you get your stories back up soon, Shy…sorry about what happened)

**Kikoken: **:thinking of WWE's glory days: You caught the CLB (creepy little bastard for those not familiar) bit, nice. Hmm…didn't some bald guy say that? Yeah, Yami should stay away from those damn cookies. Maybe him and the Cookie Monster from Sesame Street can fight it out in a later chapter. Just a thought, I guess. Thanks for reading.

**TrueYamigirlfriend: **I can do it all! Humor, drama, romance...let me stop. Thanks for reading, and if you want I can give you the name of a website with all the stupid rules for it to make it easier to follow.

**Satra: **Thanks for reading! Glad you like it so far, and more Yami quips are comming!

Well, you people didn't leave too many suggestions as far as parings go, so I guess I have free reign on the pairings!

**Seto: We're all screwed.**

**Yugi: Yup.**

**I'll see where my imagination takes me. Enjoy this silly work of fiction, people! **

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**_Chapter Five: Royal Pain_**

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Duke dealt out another hand to the players at the table (Yes, Yami finally stopped dancing and sat down) as Bakura sat and counted his chips. "Still feeling so confident, Mai?"

"Go to hell."

"Ha...that will teach you to trifle with the powers of the dark side." Bakura finished counting his stack and proceeded to look at his face down cards.

"Dark side? Who da heck are you, Darth Vader?" Joey asked as he immediately threw away his hand not willing to waste any chips on it.

"Hold on a second, aren't you the one with the puppy costume still in his closet? I'd keep my mouth closed if I were you." Bakura spat out angrily.

"Not to mention you have every season of Sailor Moon on DVD under your bed." Tristan chimed in, muffling his own laughter in the process.

"Hey, It's a good show, OK? It's not like I'm gawkin' at the Sailor Soldiers (or Sailor Scouts, depending on whom you ask) or anything like dat."

"Yeah and that explains all the Sailor Moon porn on the school computer, right?"

"HEY! YA PROMISED NOT TA TELL ANYBODY ABOUT DAT!"

The entire table roared in laughter as Joey tried to strangle his best friend.

"YOU'RE DA ONE WHO GETS UP EVERY MORNING TO WATCH POWER RANGERS!"

"I'd rather watch Power Rangers than Sailor Moon any day!"

"Um, guys, can we get to the game, PLEASE? All this talk about Power Rangers and Sailor Scouts is making me feel like im in second grade again!" Duke pleaded as he prepared to put down the first three of the "community" cards.

"So Kaiba, do you watch any porn?" Mai asked innocently as she inspected her own cards.(Queen of Hearts, 2 of Hearts)

"Of course not. Do you think that a man as busy as I am has time for porn? I have a company to run." (Kaiba's hand: King of Clubs, Jack of Clubs)

Mai rolled her eyes. "Riiight. And let me guess, you carry that laptop around all the day and do _work_?"

"Yes. And when I'm not busting my butt with all my work for my company, I have to raise my little brother and pester little Yugi. Where is the time for such a dispicable activity?"

"Kaiba...you're a GUY. Guys make time for things like that. I think I know what it is...you're scared to say what type of porn you like?"

"I WILL USE THE FORCE TO OVERCOME THESE OVERWHELMING ODDS!" Yami suddenly shouted, scaring everyone in the room.

"Yami...two important things here. One, you're not a Jedi warrior. Two...STAY AWAY FROM THOSE DAMN COOKIES!" Tea shouted as the former Pharoah returned to his seat.

"OK...now that that's over with, here's the flop."

**_Ace of Clubs_**

**_Queen of Clubs_**

**_Queen of Diamonds_**

Mai and Kaiba were the only ones left in the hand by this point, and Kaiba decided to make his move.

"All in."

"Oh my...all 700 hundered of your chips. I'm SO scared SETO!" Mai mockingly shouted. Taking her melodrama to another level, she pretended to faint. Falling directly into Kaiba's lap in the process.

"I'll call...only if you promise to do one thing if I win."

Kaiba, who was visibly nervous at the sight of the attactive blonde in his lap, tried to keep a straight face. "What would that be?"

"Watch a porno with me."

Everyone heard it. Yami stopped gobbling up cookies. Tea stopped telling him to quit eating them. Duke stopped flirting with Serenity. Joey and Tristan stopped trying to kill one another. Even Bakura was astonished.

"You're obviously joking. Seto Kaiba would never-"

"Kaiba, don't refer to yourself in the third person. Do you accept or don't you?"

"Hey Kaiba, if ya do lose, I have some great films I can reccommend." Joey snickered as Kaiba struggled with the decision.

"Thanks Wheeler, I'll make sure I get you a new leash when this is over."

Joey mumbled some obscenitiesunder his breath as Kaiba finally made his decision.

"Agreed."

"Good, I'll call."

Mai and Kaiba flipped over their cards, and Joey yelped with joy.

"HA! Send dat loser home, Mai!"

"The only 'loser' in this room is YOU, Joey!" Tea said with a smack to the back of Joey's head.

The turn card:

**_Queen of Spades._**

"Uh-oh! That means only one card can save Kaiba's ass now." Bakura pointed out as Duke prepared to deal out the "river card".

Mai stood cool and confident, Kaiba was biting on his fingernails with a nervous excitement.

_For once, Heart of the Cards, come through! The last thingI want is to be stuck in a room with this money-mongering blonde! PLEASE!_

"USE THE FORCE KAIBA!" Yami shouted again, using his bottle of Pepsi to swing around as a light sabre.

"How many times do I have to tell you, YOU'RE NOT A JEDI!" Tea pulled him down from the table as he opened the Pepsi, drenching her face in the syrupy liquid.

The river card:

**_Ten of Clubs_**

Kaiba couldn't belive it...did he just believe in the 'Heart of the Cards'? And it worked?

**Once again I apologize for the shortness of my chapters, but I just got a new job recently and haven't had much time to right as I would like. Anyways, Sailor Moon fans please don't flame me, I like the show and I was just poking fun at the fact that a lot of the male fans of the show are considered "perverts" to many. Star Wars fans please don't flame me, I know you're reading this as you stand in line waiting for your tickets. May the force be with you. Yu-gi-oh fans...go ahead. Flame me. I CHALLENGE YOU! Just kidding. Eat your vegetables and take care of yourselves people. **

**BDB...out**


	6. Deadwood Trimming: Tristan vs Joey

A/N: Thanks for the reviews everybody, I appreciate it. I'm surprised people actually like it to be honest; it's just a bunch of dribble coming from a crappy poker player. To those who reviewed:

**LadyPhoenix99: **Thanks. No…I'm not a pervert. LOL. Anyway, whoever I would tell this said I was only watching it for the "eye candy" but this is definitely not true. I just wasted 10 seconds to admit that…

As far as your story goes, I'll try to start reading up on it this weekend. Work has been a pain in the rear so I haven't been able to read as many fics as I would like.

**Satra: **Glad you like it. I hope you enjoy this one too.

**Anime-Ruthless: **Thanks SO much for pointing that small error out to me. By now it has been fixed. I was a little asleep at the wheel when I typed this up, so I think that's where I goofed up.

**DreamCherry66: **Seto/Joey? Not really my style…No, I won't send the heart of the cards after you. Thanks for reading.

**Feebeefi: **Glad you like the little Star Wars jokes. I promise you there will be at least one more crack before it's all over.

**TrueYamigirlfriend: **I'll send you the site that I found if you would email me with your address or something like that. Oh, and the force is still with you. Thanks for reading.

**Shy and LeighC: **I NEVER DROOLED! Well…I stared blankly once or twice, but that's about it. Anyways, thanks for reading, and I'll be checking out Shy's fics sometime soon.

**Kikoken: **No worries about the late review. I'm just glad to get reviews most of the time. Anyways, how's your work comming? I don't see as many updates from you as I used to. Oh, all in good time I guess they say. Thanks for reading.

Well, that's everybody…

**Darth Vader: **CARLOS! I….am your Father.

**BDB:** You, stop this silliness. There's no more need for these silly Star Wars jokes! The craze has died down, it's over!

**Darth: **You will join me and embrace the power of the DARK SIDE!

**BDB: **Umm…O.K. Do I get one of those cool light sabers?

**Darth: **Yes.

**BDB: **YEAH! Um…enjoy the chapter as I play with my new light saber!

**Darth: **The light saber is not a toy!

_**Oh…I don't own Star Wars or Darth Vader. George Lucas does. I think. Hell, I don't own Yu-gi-oh! either. **_

**_Chapter Six: Deadwood Trimming- Tristan vs. Joey_**

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A stunned group of young poker players recieved a new set of hands as the poker game rolled on.

"KAIBA! DO YOU NOW SEE THE POWER OF THE HEART OF THE CARDS?" Yami yelled as Kaiba quietly counted his chip stack.

"YES! ARE YOU HAPPY? I SEE THE POWER IN THE STUPID HEART OF THE CARDS!" Kaiba covered his mouth.

_Dammit! I'm starting to TALK like I believe in the heart of the cards! This isn't good._

"Um...moving on. Anyone want out before the flop?" Duke asked as he wondered if Seto Kaiba was stillsane.

Everyone threw away what they had except for Serenity, Joey and Tristan.

"Guys...you both realize that you don't have that much money left. Are you sure you wanna go up against me? _**(jack of clubs, ten of diamonds)**_ Serenity asked as she moved the bulk of her chip stack into the pot.

"Will you go out on a date with me if I do?" Tristan _**(2 of spades, 2 of hearts)**_ asked as he looked over his chips.

"HEY! You leave my sista alone! I'm still pissed about what happened earlier!"

"Like I said, it's not my fault you stashed all of your porn on the-" Tristan could not get the words out before Joey_**(three of hearts, queen of spades**_)lunged for his throat again.

Joey and Tristan again tackled each other, their friends looking on.

"Silly degenerates." Kaiba shook his head, watching the fight.

"Um, Guys, can you stop fighting so we can keep the game going?" Tea asked,bored out of her mind.

"Let them go, that's the most fight I've ever seen out of either one of them." Bakura spat out as he leaned back in his chair.

"Twenty bucks says Joey wins!" Mai said as she played with the chips in her seriously depleted chip stack.

_Umm..Bakura. Can I have my body back?_

Bakura (through is mind link, of course) let out a stream of curse words and insults that would make any sailor seem like a choir boy.

_NO! We're winning more money now! Why don't you crawl someplace and stay out of my way._

Ryou sighed, knowing he probably wouldn't get his body back until Bakura was bored with the game. Either that or drunk.

Meanwhile, Joey and Tristan were continuing their anger-driven tussle.

"That's my ear you jackass!"

"Well, you bit my arm!"

The rest of the gang tried to muffle laughter as Serenity smuggled the rest of both their chips into her own pile.

"Hey! IS THAT ACTION NOT ILLEGAL?" Yami roared as Serenity arranged her new chip stack.

"Well...it's not illegal if any of you didn't see it." She looked around the room and winked at her fellow players, who all turned a blind eye to her cheating.

"I didn't see anything, did you Tea?" Mai asked as Joey executed his famous noogie headlock on Tristan.

Tea shook her head and smiled, and Duke decided to deal another hand out.

"Oh well. They were dead wood anyway." Duke said as he distributed everyone new cards.

The hand went on (for once) without incident until it came up to the community cards.

"Hey! Where da heck are our chips?"

Joey was looking around at for his poker chips and saw nothing but an empty space.

"Yeah! We didn't lose, so we should still have money to play with!" Tristan added, equally dumbfounded as his friend.

"No you don't. While you two decided to get into one of your male bonding rituals, we decided to go on withthe poker game." Kaiba looked over his cards, and decided to bet based on what he saw.

"Can it, Rich Boy!"

"Oooh! Running out of insults, puppy?" Kaiba nearly laughed out loud as Joey starting yelling curse words and other insults in his direction.

_I don't see how the Wheelerette can deal with this blundering fool all of the time! And his pencil-head companion is just as stupid and annoying._

* * *

Mokuba was busy downloading a playlist to his MP3 player when he noticed a set of files called Kaiba's Music.

"Seto listens to music? I never thought he had time for it with all of his work."

His curiousity getting the better of him, the younger Kaiba decided to browse through the file. As he scrolled down the list he found various types of music, ranging from instrumental jazz to heavy metal. His brother had pretty good taste in music, at least until he got down towards the bottom.

"OH...MY...GOD! I could blackmail Seto into anything I want with this one!"

Mokuba did his best super-evil-bad-guy laugh as he began to make a list of all the things he would demand from his big brother.

**What was the point to this chapter? Well...when I think of one I'll let you know. Anyway, Joey and Tristan have been "eliminated" leaving Serenity as chip leader. Will she hold on to her chip lead? And what music could be so awful, so out-of-character that would lead Mokuba into bribing his big brother? Find out next time.**

**Sorry if the chapter sucked, people. I've been getting "brain cramps" lately and hardly anything I write seems readable to me. Eat your vegetables, take care, and **

**GEAUX TIGERS! (sorry, had to get that one in)**

**BDB...out.**


	7. Bribery, Stolen Puppies, and New Players

**A/N: Double shifts _suck_. Really. I'm back with morepoker nonsense. Why, you ask? Well...um...heck, I don't know why either. Anyway, a big thank you to:**

**Cahos1057 **

_**Marinadaearthgoddess**_

_**Sakina the Fallen Angel: (I'll try to send you a site, more Yami quips are coming!)**_

_**Setine (strip poker? If I did that, I would probably have to post this somewhere else…it would be that perverted. Seriously.)**_

_**Austin**_

_**TrueYamisgirlfriend (I tried to email you the rules from a site, but it didn't work for some reason) **_

_**Shy and LeighC (I just love you two.)**_

_**Feebeefi**_

_**Satra**_

_**Telecoi (I don't know if the disclaimer applies to reviews or not)**_

_**LadyPhoenix99 (You flatter me, friend. Thanks)**_

_**Kikoken (Thanks again for the advice, I'm probably going to try and clean up that mess I made in the last chapter soon) **_

I'm going to apologize in advance if this chapter sucks. I've been going through some very hurting things in the family, so I would be honest to say that I haven't been in the mood to write comedy lately. I hope that I can suck it up and put together a good chapter though. Enjoy.

**_Chapter 7: Bribery, Stolen Puppies, and New players_**

FINALLY, there seemed to be peace in little Yugi's home as his friends (and greatest enemy) played a hand of poker free of insults, sexual propositioning or fistfights.

Yami had FINALLY come down off of his sugar high (at least for a moment), even though he was still his regular super-melodramatic-good-guy self.

Joey and Tristan had FINALLY stopped fighting each other, realizing that trying to get back into the game would be better than beating themselves to death.

Too bad it all had to come crashing down with one phone call and a knock on the door. Which one came first, you ask? The phone call...

**_Rrrrrringggggg (or other lame sound effect) _**

Everyone looked around to see whose phone it was and realized that it was a certain CEO's thousand dollar (or hundred thousand yen, or thousand euro...you get the point.) cell phone going off.

"KAIBA! YOU MUST ANSWER YOUR SPEAKING INSTRUMENT IMMEDIATELY!" Yami had jumped on the table again, nearly knocking everyone's chips over in the process.

"First, it's a cell phone you loud-mouthed freak. Second, sit down before you wreck your poker table."

"THIS IS NOT MY TABLE...IT BELONGS TO MY HIKARI (or CLONE) YUGI!"

Kaiba muttered something about a straight jacket as he answered his phone. 'Kaiba, be brief."

"Helllooooooo Setoooo."

Kaiba groaned as he realized the identity of his caller. "Hello Mokuba, what do you want? And the answer's no, I've already given you a hundred thousand dollars in allowance this week!"

"DEAR BROTHER! I would NEVER, EVER ask you for money! You know that!"

"Yeah, and the Mutt can walk and chew gum at the same time."

Mokuba laughed on the other line as Joey jumped up and started yelling loud insults about the amount of hair gel Kaiba uses in his hair.

"DOWN YOU FILTHY BEAST! Anyway...what do you want, kid?"

"Seto...I'm on your computer right now."

"And this means _what _to me?"

Mokuba sat down in his brother's comfortable office chair, rolling around in it. "I know your little secret."

As soon as Kaiba heard that, he could have sworn the temperature went up about ten degrees. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Hmmmmmm...let me refresh your memory." Mokuba laughed as he opened up a file on the playlist. As soon as he heard the first note, Kaiba's eyes became the size of dinner plates. "NO! THAT'S FROM MY PRIVATE COLLECTION YOU LITTLE..."

"Calm down, big brother. It gets even better..." Mokuba clicked on another file, almost bringing tears to his brother's eyes.

"HOW DID YOU FIND IT! MY PRIVATE COLLECTION..."

"Seto, I helped you program the damn thing. I know where all your dirty little secrets are kept! Now let's see, what will it take for me to keep everyone from knowing you listen to the likes of N Sync, the Spice Girls, and Hilary Duff. Oh...I forgot your all time favorite...THE BAJA MEN!"

Kaiba dropped to his knees, drawing stares from everyone in the room. "Please Mokuba, I'm begging you! If word of this leaks out, my reputation will be-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, your rep will be ruined and everyone will know you're just a big softie, blah, blah, blah. Let's talk about a payment plan so that we can, um, hide those pesky little files, eh?"

"What do you want? Another hundred grand? A new car? A statue in city park with your likeness on it? Name your price, kid!" With each item he listed, Kaiba's voice became more desperate.

"Excuse me Kaiba, but can you beg like a pig AFTER our game of poker is over?" Mai said as she rested her chin on her hand.

"Quiet, blondie! The great reputation of Kaiba Corps. is at stake here."

Mai rolled her eyes and got up from the tabe, and to everyone's surprise grabbed Joey by the collar. (well, they SHOULDN'T be surprised, but let's just pretend they were, OK?)

"C'mon Joey, I don't have all night to wait on this loser of a millionaire."

"Huh?"

Everyone watched wide-eyed as Mai dragged Joey into the nearest closet availiable, locking the door behind her.

"Um...that was...spontaneous." Tea said, still in a bit of shock at what she had just seen.

Duke burst into a fit of laughter. "Do you think he CARES if it was spontaneous or not?"

Mokuba was calm as could be on the other line. _I love being EVIL! _"Nope. I want...you're BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON CARDS!"

Kaiba nearly fainted. Here he was, begging like a certain puppy that would never stop barking, at the hands of his own flesh and blood! Seto Kaiba swore an oath to whatever higher power existed that he would find the most severe method of payback that he could possibly think of. "Never! How dare you even blackmail me into such-"

"Now, now, Seto. Just think. _Joey Wheeler _finds out you listen to boy bands, a female pop singer, and some reggae group. Think about it...you won't EVER be able to live it down."

Kaiba muttured a curse under his breath. For goodness sake, the kid was right. If he didn't give in, the mutt would have enough dirt on him to make a fool of him for a lifetime. No! He wouldn't let that happen!

"Alright...you can have them."

"Oh...I don't want them."

Kaiba breathed a sigh of relief. Good, Blue Eyes cards are safe. Wait...if the little bastard didn't want those, what did he want?

"I want you to do this one little thing for me."

"And that little thing is?" Kaiba said through clenched teeth, nearly destroying his cell phone.

"I want you to..."

Kaiba nearly laughed outright at his little brother's request. There was no way in hell that that would EVER happen.

"Forget it."

Mokuba cleared his throat, then did his best to imitate those mobsters he had seen on T.V. "Oh? Then it would be a most unfortunate accident for these files to fall in the wrong hands."

Kaiba released a heavy sigh in defeat. Well, it looks like he would have to try to make the impossible possible. "Alright...and when this is over...YOU ARE SOO FREAKING DEAD!"

With that, Kaiba slammed his phone shut. _Well...at least he didn't find the porn. I still have a few tricks up my sleeve._

**_DING DONG! _**

"WHAT? WHO DARES TO INTERRUPT OUR GAME OF POKER? I'LL SEND THEM TO THE SHADOW REALM!"

"Yami, please calm down, it's just someone at the door, not another threat to world peace that you must stop by playing Duel Monsters against." Tea said as she pushed herself up from the table, ignoring the rather loud sounds comming from the closet.

She opened the door, and two figures appeared under the dim outside lights...

**_Sorry, gotta cut it off there people. I hope that was enjoyable to you all, though I basically made this chapter up on the go. I think it turned out OK, but it could have been better. Well, please leave a review on the way out. I'll update when I get 55 reviews or I run out of other things to update, whichever occurs first. _**

**_Geaux Tigers!_**

**_BDB...out_**


	8. Lockdown or Kaiba's Living Hades

**A/N: **I feel like an idiot right now…I actually forgot what TIME I went to work! I went to take a nap, thinking I didn't have to come in until that night…I woke up to a rather rude surprise. I wound up missing a day's work and I think I may have gotten on my boss' bad side. Maybe I should do what smart people do and write down my schedule. (Granted they changed it up this week, with me working a combo of over night shifts and closing shifts….) What does that have to do with this fic? Well…besides me having a little more time to update, nothing. Thanks to:

_**Setine: Gackt…I've heard that name somewhere before, probably from Princess Chaos…Thanks for the well wishes.**_

_**Lady Phoenix 99: Yes, the game began at Yugi's house…though it may not finish there. I haven't decided. Thanks for reading and the well wishes.**_

_**DreamCherry66:laughs: Probably so…thanks for reading.**_

_**Feebeefi: Glad you liked the chapter, thanks for reviewing.**_

_**My Tourniquet: Thanks for giving this a read.**_

_**Short-story writer: I'll give you a quote about my family I heard from a rap song I was listening to the other day: "It ain't all good, but it's not all bad anymore either." Sorry about the cliffie, those can be pretty evil! Thanks for reading.**_

_**Kikoken: Thanks for reading…this madness will probably end in a couple of chapters or so...quite frankly I'm running out of ideas for it. **_

_**Satra: Mokuba's little scheme will be revealed, don't you worry! Thanks for reading.**_

_**LeighC: Thanks for everything. You and Shy are two great friends to have.**_

**_TrueYamisGirlfriend: Yup, sorry about the OOC-ness and randomness. That chapter was written when I was at my worst. Don't worry, this one will be more entertaining, I hope._**

I'll spare you all any more rants until the end of the chapter…enjoy.

**_Chapter Eight: Lockdown (or Kaiba's living Hades)_**

"Hello Malik, hello Ishizu!" Tea gave both of the guests a huge hug as she welcomed them into Yugi's home. "What brings you two over?"

Malik shrugged. "She wanted to see the Pharaoh, I guess." He watched in horror as Ishizu pulled a rather large black bag behind her into the house. "I told her not to bring so much stuff, but she never listens to me..."

"Um...what's in there?" Tristan asked as Ishizu was finally able to drag the bag into the back of the room.

"Oh? Some presents for my dear Pharaoh!" Her blue eyes focused on the young man looking for more sweets in the kitchen.

"I told her not to eat those chocolate-covered raisins...she wouldn't be able to handle it." Malik shook his head.

Suddenly, Mai and Joey finally reappared out of the closet, both of their clothes a bit ruffled. Mai calmly sat back down at the table, ready to play another hand. Joey, on the other hand, had a sort of vacant look in his eyes, as if he had lost his mind. "Hand...hair...bra..."

"Do I even want to know what the hell just happened here?" Malik said as he took a seat at the table.

"No, you don't." Bakura replied, shuffling the deck. "Let's see who's left, shall we? Myself, Serenity, Kaiba, Tea, Duke, The Pharaoh...I think we have room for another Malik. That is, if you can stand the pressure of playing with us!"

"Pressure? You guys are all rank amateurs compared to me!"

"We'll soon see, little boy!"

"Watch your mouth, Tomb Robber!" Malik and Bakura glared at each other, looking as if they were ready to rip each other's hearts out.

"Save it for the wrestling ring...where's Yami?" Duke said as he stretched his body and let out a lazy yawn.

Tea and Serenity looked around. "That's funny..he was in the kitchen just a second ago...and where's Ishizu?"

Malik held his cards on the table and shook his head. "I told her to stay away from those damned chocolate-covered raisins!"

Kaiba's cell phone went off yet again, much to his disdain. After mumbling something unpleasant about his little brother, he picked up the phone.

"What, kid?"

"Hiya, bro...is everything working out as far as our little deal is concerned?"

The CEO looked over at Tea, who shot him a confused look. "These things take time little brother...besides, I can't make people do things against their will."

"YES YOU CAN! YOU MADE ME EAT ALL OF THOSE VEGETABLES LAST NIGHT!" Mokuba yelled indignantly through the phone.

"Yes, but you see, that's different Mokuba. I have to get-"

"Listen...either you get me what I want or everybody, and I DO MEAN EVERYBODY, will know that you listen to stupid Girl-Power music, got it?"

Kaiba held his tounge, realizing that he couldn't say exactly what he wanted to under these circumstances. "Alright, Mokuba." With that, he hung his phone up and stood up from the table.

"Kaiba? First Mai, then Yami, now you? Why can't anyone sit down so we can play something that resembles poker?" Tea said, her blue eyes full of impatience.

"I'm pleased that you ask, Gardener...come with me to the kitchen for a moment; we have something to discuss."

"What the heck do you mean we?" Tea said she felt a powerful jerk on her arm, forcing her up from the table. "HEY! Let me go!"

"Shut up and come on won't you?" Kaiba dragged the kicking and screaming Tea into the kitchen, and closed the door behind them. After recieving numerous insults from the so-called Friendship Freak, Kaiba was able to get in a couple of words in.

"I need you to do a favor for me..."

"ME? Do a favor for YOU?" Tea looked out of the kitchen window, her eyes wide. "I KNEW IT! THERE ARE FISH FLYING OUTSIDE!"

Kaiba shook his head, and wondered silently if he was the only SANE person inside this house. "The expression is there are PIGS flying outside, not fish!"

Tea turned to him, a rather hurt expression on her face. "Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Oh...I had been saving that joke for weeks! Do you have any idea how long it took for me to come up with that?"

"I can only imagine...anyway, I need you to help me with something."

"And what would that be?"

Tea put her hands on her hips and started tapping her foot out of impatience.

"Well?"

Kaiba reluctantly walked up to her and whisperedsomething into her ear. First, a look of shock crept onto the aspiring dancer's face. Then a smile, which was followed by a hyserical laugh.

"OH MY GOD! YOU WANT ME TO DO THAT!"

Kaiba wished he had one of those stupid Milennium Items on him so that he could send her to that stupid "Shadow Realm" that Yugi and the others were always babbling about, but held his anger in check. "Yes...will you do it?"

"Ummm...let me think real hard...NO!" Tea laughed in his face again, then proceeded to fall on the floor, tears running down her eyes.

"THIS IS NOT HUMEROUS YOU STUPID GIRL! THE REPUTATION OF KAIBA CORPS IS AT STEAK HERE!"

"I...don't...care!" Tea said through fits of laughter.

This was going to be more difficult than Kaiba thought.

* * *

Bakura and Malik were nearly at each other's throats, each one accusing the other of various crimes and shortcommings. 

"I did not steal Yugi's cookie recipe, you no-good, tomb-robbing son-of-a-b"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!"

The entire room (save a still spellbound Joey) looked over at Serenity, who had covered her own mouth. "Um...what I meant was, can't you two find something to agree on?"

"NO!" Both the albino and the Egyptian shouted.

"Ok...favorite color?"

"Blue."

"Pink." The entire table looked over at Malik, eyes wide. "What? It looks good on me!"

"Ummm...favorite food?"

"Chicken stir fry."

"Cockroaches." This time, the entire table looked over at Bakura. "What are you fools staring at! Your ancestors probably ate more than their fare share of insects, especially since-"

"Spare us the details please..." Serenity said as she cringed at the thought of eating an insect. "I know...favorite video game!"

"STREET FIGHTER!"

"MORTAL KOMBAT!"

The two foes glared at each other again. "STREET FIGHER KICKES MORTAL COMBAT BEE-HIND!" Malik shouted.

"NONSENSE, AT LEAST ON MORTAL KOMBAT YOU CAN KILL PEOPLE! WHAT CAN YOU DO ON STREET FIGHTER, HIT SOMEONE WITH A GOOFY-LOOKING FIREBALL!"

"AT LEAST ON STREET FIGHTER NOT EVERYBODY IS SOME SUPER-DEFORMED FREAK! ALL OUR CHARACTERS AT LEAST LOOK HUMAN!"

"OH, YEAH? AT LEAST MORTAL KOMBAT TITLES DONT SOUND LIKE ALGEBRA EQUATIONS! WHAT WAS THE LAST STREET FIGHTER TITLE? STREET FIGHTER EX PLUS ALPHA TIMES THE THIRD ROOT OF PI SQUARED MINUS THETA?"

"NO...It was Street Fighter EX Plus Alpha Three." Malik held his head downcast, realizing he was beaten.

Serenity shook her head, wondering why she had even brought up the subject in the first place. Besides, they were both wrong. Soul Calibur was the best...

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SOMEONE HELP ME!"

Everyone looked up, realizing the shouting was coming from upstairs...

**That chapter...two words for it: YUCK AND POO! Definitely not one of my best. Oh well...I'll probably be wrapping this one up in a few weeks, then come back and re-do it whenever I get some time. Reviews are welcome, and thank you again for all of your well wishes. Also a special shout-out for those of you who reviewed my one-shot, "Dear Serenity, IHateYou.": THERE"S GONNA BE AFOLLOW-UP! YES! Sorry, a little toohyper.I'm out.**

**BDB...out**


	9. Ain't Love Grand?

**A/N: If you don't know already, I reside in Louisiana, one of the areas hardest hit by Hurricane Katrina on Monday. Most of my family was fortunate to live so far north that they would bespared, two of my sisters were not. One sister (who goes to Medical School in New Orleans and is a member of the National Guard) has left the Superdome with the victims and is now safely home with us. Another sister, who lives close to New Orleans, had to evacuate her apartment and probably won't be cleared to go back there for a few days, if not weeks or even months. This hurricane destroyed lives, buisnesses, and homes across much of the Gulf Coast, and I would ask if you could do anything at all to just keep these people (not justmy sisters but ALLvictims obviously)on your minds, in your hearts, and in your prayers. Thank you.**

**Enjoy the update, sorry for it's severe lateness.**

**_Chapter Nine: Ain't Love Grand?_**

Everyone (except for Joey, who was still in some sort of lust-trance) rushed up to Yugi's room where the fould a rather disturbing (well...depends on what you call disturbing) image waiting for them: Ishizu, down to her bra and panties, was straddled on the waist of one Yami, who was in total shock.

"FRIENDS! Ishizu's gone mad, please, just please help her get off!"

Tristan snickered. "Um, pal, I think that's exactly what Ishizu wants you to help her do right now..hehe."

Duke and Bakura looked over at the boy with grins on their faces as Serenity rolled her eyes.

"I had no idea you could be such a pervert, Tristan!"

Tristan waved his arms frantically, trying to explain that he meant nothing like that when Tea and Kaiba rushed up the stairs.

"What the hell?" Kaiba froze as he looked over at the bed, watching Ishizu cuddle up with his rival.

"WHAT THE HELL INDEED! GET OFF OF HIM YOU DISGUSTING OLD WENCH!" Tea said as she had to be restrained by Tristan and Duke.

Ishizu looked back at Tea with eyes of fire. "QUIET! THE PHARAOH'S MINE! PICK SOMEONE ELSE!" Ishizu thought for a second and roared again. "AND IM NOT OLD DAMMIT!"

The next thing that everyone knew, Tea had jumped into the bed and was now wrestling with Ishizu. Yami just lay there mortified as two rather (scratch that, VERY) attractive women fought for his affections; everyone else watched with a bit of shock on their faces. Kaiba felt a piece of cloth fly on his head. Wide-eyed, the "boy wonder" removed the fabric from his hair only to realize that it was a piece of Tea's blouse.

"Um...shouldn't we break them up?"

The gang (or at least those who weren't spellbound or fighting to the death) looked over at Mai and shrugged.

"Ahh, let 'em go! It's been a while since I've seen a good catfight lately!" Duke said as he looked over at the two women brawling, his mouth almost salivating. Mai looked back over at him with contempt.

_DoANY men think with the head on their shoulders?_

"I think I've seen enough, I'm going downstairs to poker." Bakura said as he shuffled down the stairs.

"Me and the thief don't agree on much, but that's one thing we do agree on." Maliksaid as he joined Bakura back downstairs.

Tristan and Duke didn't seem to hear them, as they were enjoying the "view" in front of them. Mai and Serenity looked on, shocked. Kaiba? Well, his cell phone had rang again, and he was now in direct negotiations with his brother.

"Hello, Seto? Any luck yet?"

Kaiba rolled his eyes. "Mokuba, Rome wasn't built in a day. It's going to take me a while to find what you want."

Mokuba rolled around in his brother's comfortable office chair, knowing that with a single keystroke he could ruin his brother's "stone cold" image.

"Seto, Seto, Seto...all I ask you to do is find me a date for my back-to-school dance, and youcan't even do that. Too bad...I guess I'll have to let everybody know that you listen to J-Rock, Hillary Du-"

"MOKUBA! Please...Hey, I have an idea! Why don't you call that Rebecca Hawkins girl?"

Kaiba could almost see his little brother's face contorting into a disgusted frown.

"EWWWW...gross! She's scary, has those super-huge glasses, and is a bigger nerd than I am! Besides, she's totally got it for Yugi!"

"Oh? They make a cute...what the hell am I saying! I'M SETO KAIBA, DARN IT! I AM THE EPITOME OF COOL!"

"Blah, blah, blah, you have a fan club with a gajillion members, blah, blah, blah...whatever. Just snag a cutie for my date, or you're screwed. Got it?"

Kaiba grumbled under his breath. _Little brother, you are going to pay for this through the nose, I swear! _"Alright, Mokuba."

Meanwhile, downstairs, Bakura and Malik looked over at the still star-struck Joey, trying to figure out how to wake him up.

"Should we banish his soul to the shadow realm?" Bakura suggested as he studied Joey's drooling form.

"How the hell would that help? I say we stuff ice in his pants!" Malik was heading for the kitchen before Bakura said that he had an idea.

Bakura rushed into the kitchen and emerged with a bowl of Kibbles'N Bits and some water.

Malik looked at him as if he had lost his mind. "Do you really think that's going to work?"

Bakura smiled slyly. "Just watch."

He poured some water into the bowl with the dog food and held it to Joey's nose.

"Here, puppy-wuppy, nice doogie food!"

Joey sniffed a couple of times, eagerly dived into the food. "I LOVE KIBBLES 'N BITS!"

Malik and Bakura looked on astonished as Joey devoured the entire bowl of dog food.

"How did you know it would work, Bakura?"

The albino shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. A wild guess?"

**Well, I guess that would be a proper place to stop. Besides today being my 20th birthday, I don't have much cause for celebration, considering recent events. But one thing that I saw last night made a smile creep on my face. In the small city of Monroe, Louisiana, a football game was played last night between Northwestern (La.) State University and the University of Louisiana-Monroe. Obviously, both schools had players, coaches, and fans who had relatives or friends who experienced Katrina's wrath. Somehow, both teams focused enough energy to play a game that served, at least for a few hours, a diversion from the tragedy of the situation here. Trailing by 23-0 at halftime, the Northwestern State Demons could have packed it up and gone home and no one would have thought of them badly for it. Instead, they rallied and won the contest 28-23. Why is this important? Well, it isn't. It's just good for the state to have something to focus on that's positive...even if it only lasts for three hours. See you all soon.**

**BDB...out.**


End file.
